THE POWER OF A SOFT ANSWER
Instead, it is a mark of great wisdom, patience, and self control.
(WISDOM is the ability to apply knowledge, experience, and good judgment to make sound decisions and understand life deeply. It involves insight, discernment, and the ability to distinguish between right and wrong.)
(PATIENCE is the ability to endure difficulties, delays, or suffering without becoming annoyed, anxious, or upset. It is the capacity to remain calm and persistent in the face of challenges, trusting that things will work out in due time. James 1:3-4 (KJV) talks about the trying of your faith "Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.)
(SELF CONTROL is the ability to regulate one's emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, especially in difficult situations. It involves resisting temptations, making thoughtful decisions, and maintaining discipline to achieve long-term goals. Biblically, self-control is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and is essential for a righteous and disciplined life.)
According to the Bible, how we handle disagreement can either sow discord or promote harmony. Even in the face of provocation, a gentle response has great power that can change people's hearts, restore relationships, and bring God into a situation.
1. A Gentle Response Calms Anger
"Proverbs 15:1 KJV. A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Anger is like a blazing fire. Harsh words are like gasoline, intensifying the flames, while a soft answer is like water, quenching the fire before it spreads. When someone speaks to us in frustration or rage, our natural instinct is to retaliate. However, responding with gentleness and humility disarms hostility and creates an opportunity for peace.
Example:
Imagine a heated argument between two friends. One friend feels betrayed and raises his voice in anger. If the other responds with equal aggression, the situation escalates. But if the accused friend calmly says, "I understand that you’re upset. Please help me see how I hurt you, so I can make it right," the dynamic shifts. The angry friend is now confronted not with more hostility but with unexpected kindness, which often leads to a softened heart.
This is exactly how Abigail prevented disaster when David was furious at Nabal. Instead of responding in kind to Nabal’s foolishness, Abigail approached David humbly, speaking with wisdom and gentleness, and as a result, she turned away his wrath (1 Samuel 25:23-33).
2. A Soft Answer Demonstrates Maturity
Proverbs 16:32 KJV. He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
It takes no effort to lash out in anger, but it takes great strength and maturity to remain composed under pressure. True wisdom is not proven in how well we argue, but in how well we handle conflict without losing our temper. Jesus Himself modeled this when He was falsely accused, beaten, and mocked. Instead of responding with anger, He remained silent and entrusted Himself to God (Isaiah 53:7, 1 Peter 2:23).
Example:
A husband and wife are having a disagreement. The wife, frustrated, raises her voice. The husband is tempted to shout back, but instead, he gently says, "I see that you’re upset, and I want to understand how you feel. Let’s talk about this calmly." This response prevents the situation from spiraling out of control, showing emotional maturity and leadership.
3. A Soft Answer Invites the Presence of God
James 3:17 KJV. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
God dwells where peace is maintained. The enemy thrives in conflict, seeking to stir up division, but the Holy Spirit moves in an atmosphere of peace. When we choose a gentle response, we allow God to work in the situation, turning strife into reconciliation.
Example:
A man is wrongly accused at work. He feels the urge to defend himself aggressively, but instead, he prays and responds with humility, trusting that God will vindicate him. Over time, his co-workers and employer recognize his integrity, and God exalts him (just like He did with Joseph in Genesis 39:19-23).
Conclusion
A soft answer is a weapon of wisdom. It is not a sign of weakness but of great strength, capable of diffusing anger, demonstrating spiritual maturity, and inviting God’s presence into our lives. When we master the art of gentle responses, we reflect the heart of Christ, who, even in suffering, spoke words of love and forgiveness.
The next time you are faced with conflict, remember Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath. By choosing calmness over chaos, patience over provocation, and love over hostility, you not only defuse the situation but also open the door for God’s peace to reign. Shalom
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